I have a pretty big birthday coming up on September 29 — I'll be turning 45. For the first time in my life I have mixed feelings about a birthday. I usually float through a birthday without feeling too much other than gratefulness for another year of this life. This year is a little different and I'm not entirely sure why. Maybe it's the realization that most likely more that half of my life is over. That so many years have already passed and I'm not invincible as my naive mi